


Hard Pill

by Nocturne1980



Category: Black Panther (2018), Black Panther (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cheating, Divorce, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Lies, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:53:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27651607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturne1980/pseuds/Nocturne1980
Summary: Shuri wonders why it took her so long to see the truth.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Shuri
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Hard Pill

**Author's Note:**

> I will only post completed work. Once I complete past work I will post it.

It was a bitter pill to swallow. No water and throat clenched from trying to gulp down emotion. In the aftermath Shuri could see now that what she’d accepted as love was really only strange affection, at best. She’d been ready to give it all up for him. Her homeland. Her throne. Her self…

But hadn’t she already?

On the banks of the Didessa river, she’d given her heart to James Buchanan Barnes. A broken shadow of a man rescued by her brother after being set up for the murder of the former king of Wakanda, her father. Back then she thought they were a pair. Him so in need of healing and she so in need to play healer.

It wasn’t that Shuri was in need of suitors. She was a princess of Wakanda. Her brother was king. Every male under the age of seventy vied for her hand. She knew her worth. At least she had back then. She was responsible for nearly all of the major advancements in Wakanda since she was old enough to present her ideas to the elders. She wasn’t as voluptuous as was popular but she was appealing. She knew she wasn’t an unattractive woman.

That’s not how she felt at the moment. None of what she knew to be true could outweigh how low he’d brought her. How low _she_ allowed him to take her.

Her kimoyo beats rested on the table before her. The black letter etched beads projecting the moving image of James Buchanan Barnes in high definition holo. In his arms, arms Shuri knew from experience felt warm and inviting, was Natasha Romanov, her face turned up to Bucky’s with the same look of adoration Shuri had once held.

She was familiar with the way he looked at the red-haired Avenger. Hadn’t he done so with Shuri many times before? Eyes holding the counterfeit promise of fidelity and devotion.

On the banks of the Didessa river Shuri gave her heart and innocence to James Buchanan Barnes. She’d like to think that he loved her once. At least perhaps in that moment. The more she studied her in his arms, the more she comes to realize that he never did, love her that is.

_Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things._

_Love never ends…_

But it’s a bitter pill to swallow. That she’d given her all while he had given something else not quantifiable. Something less than all. Something she couldn’t even grasp onto as she watched the love of her life hold another woman in his arms and look happy doing so.

“Mother, when is Baba coming back to take me fishing?”

Shuri ended the kimoyo bead’s transmission quickly before turning to face the tiny person who’d sneaked into her lab without a sound of warning.

Sweet face, honey brown, and eyes while brown instead of blue, held the shape of the man who took part in their making. Shuri attempted to erase the bitterness as she put on a partially false smile for the little one.

These false smiles were getting harder to stir up as the days went by. As the dream she’d dreamed chipped apart piece by piece.

It began as one too many missions that kept him abroad and far from home. He’d come back dirty and battered, proof enough where none was needed. She should have known. She didn’t want to verify that he was telling the truth. She’d long stop meddling in the affairs of those outside of Wakanda since taking the mantle of queen. What the Avengers did was none of her concern.

Now she thinks that she suspected even then but she was too cowardly to confirm her whispered suspicions. He became distant. Here and there. His time in Wakanda became riddled with fights between them, initiated by his untraceable foul moods. He blamed it on the missions. Eventually, he began blaming it on her.

“Your baba is busy with a very important mission. When he is finished he will return home then.”

A small pout proceeds a stubborn jaw that breaks Shuri’s heart with how much it looks like Bucky.

“He’s _always_ busy with work. You are the queen of an entire country and not as busy as Baba. What is he doing that’s more important than us?’

Shuri’s mind goes to the image of Bucky holding Natasha but she shakes it away and forces the corners of her mouth higher.

“Why don’t we go fishing together?”

“But Baba promised. He said we’d go fishing for my birthday..”

“It wasn’t his intention to not be here, sweetheart.” Shuri lies with ease. Bast help her, but she has become as accomplished a liar as her child’s father. The images from the kimoyo beads were captured yesterday. “Come, let us see what your grandmother is about. I hear she has one last gift to give you.”

This was enough to distract the child for the moment. Shuri knew that it wouldn’t last. The moment her daughter’s delight at what new thing her grandmother had gifted her with wore off, she’d be back sulking about her father’s absence until he made an appearance.

Ramonda was the daughter of old school royalty who married into old school royalty. Of course, she had rigid ideas about who was a suitable match for her only child. From the beginning her mother had disapproved of the match. He was an outsider. He was not of royal blood. He did not do any of the things her mother believed he should have done to prove his devotion and worthiness of her daughter.

She should have heeded the words of her mother.

Shuri looked at her daughter chatting fondly with her grandmother, hand in hand, and she could not regret the passage of time that led to her birth. She would not undo those events for anything.

There was a numbness that blanketed her. It had been there for some time. It was not formed with the first irrefutable proof that her husband has been unfaithful. She’d put it in place at the first inkling. How else could she have remained by his side so long?

She stared at her daughter and that pill keeps going down at a slow torturous grind, thick and chalky. She was a queen. The black panther. A former Avenger. One of the most formidable defenders of her time. She was beautiful. The ruler of the most prosperous and technologically advanced nation on earth. She was brilliant and capable.

She was...hallow and shorn. Naked. A plucked bird, wings defined and useless. For all her grand titles and accomplishments, Shuri knew that the thing she was in that moment was utterly heartbroken.


End file.
